Tuesday, May 25, 2010
It's good to be back in the Emerald City again, and it still feels like home.
My last few days of driving across the country involved a lot of singing along to Elvis Presley (my iPod currently holds 137 of his songs, and I'm not too embarrassed to admit that I know about 85% of the words, and I did even before this drive), snow (yes, snow - Mother Nature adheres not to the calendar of the secular world), coffee, mountain driving in Montana, and a few pitstops for workouts at Gold's Gym facilities (I know few of you may consider a workout a "pitstop" but I'm a fitness junkie, after all). All things considered, everything went just about as smooth as I could've possibly imagined.
Now, back in Seattle, I have a very real sense of urgency. All of the wanderings and minor adventures of the last 6 weeks have been very pleasant and rewarding, but the time has come to settle back into the real world of genuine obligation, financial burden, routine, and a testing of commitment. A lot of my immediate future is intrinsically dependent upon my work ethic as a solo artist, and that cannot be understated.
I haven't been feeling lethargic lately, but I feel like my resolve and dedication isn't where it should be. Perhaps the standards I impose on myself are set too high (but of course I will shrug even the suspicion of this off, as I cannot yield to that amount of self-doubt), or perhaps I am actually feeling a little overwhelmed. I can't say for sure that I have put too much on my plate, because I have ingrained self-reliance into my being, and I am overly confident in what I can achieve with a little persistence, but the forbears of burnout are there. I need to realign my focus, get organized, and apply myself. I am confident in my skill set and my drive, but I need to translate these things into success with the use of organization and method. No one is going to hand things as paramount as achievement, success, or victory to you - you have to discover the road to these things on your own. And I'm learning this.
I have enjoyed some successes since getting back to Seattle, including a number of the professional front. I should have enough work to keep me afloat this summer between Gold's Gym and Rain Fitness, and I am excited to get started. I should have enough time to devote some real energy to TakeYourBike (which just solidified its first ever sponsorship) and get this thing off the ground and making strides by this September's tour, and I should have enough intelligence and drive to train well and race successfully in this, my first season as a amateur bike racer. All of that being said, I'm fully aware that "should" is not a word I'm fond of, and I'm determined to make these things happen.
I prefer "I do" or "I will".