Tuesday, November 10, 2009
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king...
Today is November 10, 2009, and at 8:51 MST I made my decision. I'm not going to waste any more time developing my ideal lifestyle. I'm taking some big strides and some big chances with my absolute satisfaction motivating me. I'm going to invest in myself, and start working toward a greater success in life. I'm building my future.
Thanks, Eric, for talking with me.
Tomorrow I'm going to wake up with a new motivation - a new goal. My winter has changed, and my end goals are for the season have shifted. Tonight I realized that I'm over the short-sighted, live-solely-for-the-present mentality. Things have to be bigger than that; my life has to be filled with more purpose than that. As I sat in an interview for a table-waiting job for the mountain (a very viable job, with only night hours that would allow me to snowboard EVERY day), I realized that it was the farthest things from what I wanted. I didn't move out here (and change so much of my lifestyle) to get a job in an industry that I can't stand. Sure, that job would make it possible for me to live more than comfortably for the next 6 months, but I would gain nothing. Sure, I'd meet new people there and have a lot of fun getting to know people over dinner and drinks on a nightly basis, but I'd be putting 30+ hours a week of my time and energy into something I have no interest in pursuing long term. It's a waste of my resources and abilities. That's not ego - that's placing value on myself. I've worked too hard my entire life at building myself into someone I'm proud of, and I'm not going to squander it on a dead end job anymore. Quite unfortunately, America has become a place in the world where people define themselves and each other not by what they do with their lives outside of work, but what they do for work. People have become their occupation. And, quite unfortunately, I am not exempt to the stigmas of this ideology. I live here, and must live within this code, at least for the time being.
AND I AM NOT GOING TO BE A WAITER EVER AGAIN.
With my decision to throw myself at the opportunities presented to me here, there are a number of consequences. My income will be drastically limited, and my lifestyle must reflect that limitation. It's going to be a bare-bones existence for some time to come for me - but hey, my years of being a musician and the training that comes from living in a van with $12 to your name for weeks on end will come in handy. My free time will be devoted to throwing myself at my future - casual drinks and after-hours ragers will be at a minimum. But my focus couldn't be clearer. This is what I need to do. It's what my grandmother would've wanted. Best case scenario: the risks I take shape the foundation for the rest of my life, and teach me how to live with the entrepreneurial instability that so many better men and women know so well. Worst case scenario: I learn by my own failures, enjoy a winter with more sincerity, focus, and self-satisfaction then I've ever dreamed of, and pick myself up and try again. I may be a number of different things come June 2010, and I may be in one of a number of different places, but I can guarantee you this:
I WILL NOT BE A WAITER IN CRESTED BUTTE, CO.
Thanks Peter, Molly, Ben, and Liz for showing me what it takes and inspiring me to change my life.
Thanks Jeff for the ride - you're a credit to this community.