Monday, October 12, 2009

Health Is All We Have

The adage holds true: you are wealthy if all you have is your health. I was rudely reminded of this today. One of the two most influential and wonderful women in my life (the other being my mother) is ill. She is the sweetest woman I have ever met, and is a very, very big reason I am where I am today. She showed me compassion and understanding normally reserved for no one of this world when I needed it most, and it snapped me back to reality at a time when I was much too close to the edge. Live your life as you think your grandmother wants you to - I guarantee you you will never go wrong. She wants what's best for you in the purest way. I'm completely engulfed in emotion right now, and none of it is good. And I know it should be good. This is bullshit. She has lived a life without equal, and has left more of an positive imprint on her world than I can ever aspire to. This is cause for celebration - but all I can do is tear myself apart with grief. She should be an exception to the rules. She's earned it. For her, I'm living the way she would want me to. If I can somehow manage to treat people with the some courtesy and respect she did, and bring anywhere near the same amount of joy and compassion into my world as she did hers, I'll have accomplished more than I have any business accomplishing in my entire life. I even regret referring to this situation as "bullshit" - she wouldn't approve of that. And she's right - it's unnecessary. I can't have any of the mistakes I've made back, but, due in great part to my grandmother, I can make better decisions with my future. I love my grandmother. I'm as committed as I've ever been to taking advantage of the health that I have now, and taking every step I can to maximize my health in the future. Not for me, but for her. I'm going to live a long, full, happy life because that's what she wants for me.

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